Doing Good to the Woman at Church

About two months ago my husband challenged me with this verse- Galations 6:10. He challenged me ,because another man in our church had challenged him . I argued a little , telling him I was already busy and doing a lot. It didn't work on him. He kept reminding me, " Yes , it is great those things you do for others, but first the body of believers Danielle ." I gritted, I snarled, ( blush , blush ) don't worry it was feminine, and then I eventually calmed, listened and accepted. This is my personal biggest challenge. Maybe because I let past hurts play in.Maybe because I feel like there are so many people in church doing good, that I can do more good at let's say, work or elsewhere. But it is no excuse. There it was in scripture as my husband read it to me Galatians 6:10- "So then as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone and especially to those who are of the household of faith."
I grew up in church. From the time my mom could leave with me from home as an infant, I was in church. My fondest memories are of childrens church growing up.  I don't know why children don't gossip, perhaps it is just cause they are too innocent to know how.Then came youth group. When you hit the teens WATCH OUT, when Junior High begins it all changes doesn't it? You hear girls saying things like, " What's up with her hair, Did she gain weight, What on earth is she wearing?" and the like. I somehow felt that when I entered my 20's and 30's the gossip drama would stop, but sadly not so.Sometimes I hear grown women still saying these things. It is almost sure, where there are women they will be talking about other women. Sadly sometimes, we find it in the church. I think God has a better plan for me and for you. I know His plan is goodness.
I have been on the receiving end of gossip a few times in my life from other christians.I think that is why perhaps I dislike gossip so much and try to avoid it.I think the hardest to get over is when others decide to talk about something in your life that was very painful to you.The hardest gossip I had to endure is when I had gotten home.from Europe after being away for some time as a teenager. A pastor (who barely knew me) stopped me after church, sharp and rude he said, " So I hear you are headed down a wrong road, you had better watch it ?" His face was stern and his manner unwelcoming. I was shocked then mad as we drove home. I was more upset that these were his first words to me. " What did he know, better yet, how did he know? Obviously someone had told him." It hurt more that he never bothered to ask me his questions or talk with me face to face.He obviously thought he knew every detail but never bothered to converse with me personally. Not but a week later I had another christian woman stop me at Costco, " Oh, I heard all about you !" she said as she passed me by. "What ? ",was my first reaction/" From who?" She had never spoken to me, asked me. I had only been home weeks, obviously word had gotten around, and the word wasn't good.
                     It's true we can be hurt from people in the household of faith. It is true also that we ourselves can hurt others. A few years ago I got involved in a conversation I should have never been apart of. The woman I unintentionally injured still will not speak to me. What a hard lesson for me to learn. I hope before we spread info, we might think about that woman first. Consider her pain. Go to her as the source of our information, and if we don't know , it is probably best just to keep quiet. I know I personally have felt the affects of gossip towards me. I also know I have affected those by things I myself have said. My hope and prayer for all of us is that we will heal from the things said about us. Also that we would be aware of the words we speak about other women in church.
                    I love what  Ann Graham Lotz says in her book, Wounded by Gods People, "  Does that surprise you? That a preachers extended family not only includes deeply wounded people, but also includes wounders? Yes it does. Which is one reason I know that Gods love heals. He can redeem the wounded and forgive the wounders."( Ann Graham Lotz) I was surprised for sure. She tells some stories of how she has been hurt by Gods people. If you are one of those wounded might I suggest her book to you. I know God wants me to get over those things so I can live life and love others without burden. He does not want that weight of unforgiveness looming over our hearts in the house of faith. Elizabeth George says in her book, A Woman's Walk With God, " I know my natural response when someone has hurt me is to react and decide, " Well, you're off my list! I don't have to put up with that kind of treatment! I'll just withhold my love from you. But as we've been learning, moments like these are precisely when you and I need to have spiritual  victory and be kind instead. This supernatural act requires God, the Holy Spirit filling us with kindness." (Elizabeth George) In the past I have also handled gossip about me in a variety, of what I now know, unhealthy ways. I have in the past distanced myself from people that gossiped about me, cried for way to long,  been more reserved, and even ( blush, blush ) not gone to church, so I wouldn't have to face it.Just like we all have a choice to not gossip about another. We have a choice to not let anothers gossip about us affect us.Above all Christ wants me and you to be free in the knowledge that He knows us. He knows the truth and we can walk in confidence before Him alone. So let's allow Him to help us move on.
             Just because others may gossip about me or you, that is no excuse to not do good. I have a problem that I will admit to you, that I have struggled with and that God is definitely helping me grow in.I have often  let gossip define me. I think that in this last decade God has challenged me more than ever before to move on and to be what I know I am in Him alone.You know looking back I wouldn't trade those words that were spoken to me. For one, I know the pain of gossip. I know how it hurts and wouldn't want to ( intentionally) inflict that on anyone. Secondly, God is only concerned about one thing, doing that work that He wants to do and only He can do on my heart. A work to do good to the body of Christ. Ephesians 4:1-3- I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called. With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Regardless of past hurts, God simply wants us to do what He says. I know God has healed those things in my past. I don't avoid church anymore ( thank God) . Actually I am very blessed to be a part of a church where I personally have not heard other women gossiping. But I can still work on doing good FIRST to the woman in the body of Christ.

Who is that woman this week in the body of Christ you might do good to? This has been such a challenging quote for me this month, I hope it challenges you too,  from the book: True Discipleship by John  Koessler "" Our love is to go beyond words. We are to " love....with actions and in truth" ( 1 John 3:18). According to 1 Peter 1:22, We are to love one another deeply , from the heart. " A church where the prevailing spirit says, " I love you but I don't really like you" is unlikely to have much of an impact on the world."" ( John Koessler) What a challenge to not just say we love others at church ( because that is what we have to do right). But to actually start looking at other women and saying, " I not only love you, I like you !" Have you taken time to get to know that woman you are avoiding, criticizing and ," gulp", gossiping about. Take the time this week. Do good first to the household of faith :)

 I don't know if you have been on the giving end or receiving end of gossip in the church, ( I'm sure we have all been on both ends at points in our life) but neither is an excuse not to love. The woman of faith you are gossiping about is a person Christ gave his life for just like you . The woman of faith that has gossiped about you is a person Christ gave His life for just like you.

This week let's be challenged to do good to the woman at church: Go out of your way to talk to a woman at church you haven't talked to before. Go out of your way to prove yourself wrong about someone you have misjudged, take some time to get to know them. Do you see a woman in pain, how can you offer comfort. A woman who is sick at church? What is something you may do to help her? Did you bump in to a lady from church in the grocery store? Why not buy her a bouquet of flowers and hand them to her before she leaves the store. Have a great week!
 I would love to hear your ideas and comments !